Litter in Skaneateles

One black plastic hood from Mr. Bar-B-Q in China; two paper cups, one generic, one Green Mountain; one Vitamin Water bottle, “Focus,” Kiwi-Strawberry flavor.

On Genesee Street, three pink emery boards from Elizabeth Wende Breast Care, LLC, of Rochester, New York.

“Litter in Skaneateles” would like to welcome a new product this morning: Gatorade A.M. Did you know that nearly 50% of exercisers aren’t fully hydrated before their workout? For those who exercise in the morning, or just walk to school with a hangover, there’s Gatorade A.M., with flavors developed to appeal to you in the morning. This morning, not one but two litterers enjoyed the Tropical Mango flavor. Other trash included a Yuengling can, a paper cup from Johnny Angel’s, a Wegman’s water bottle, an unidentifiable juice bottle, a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup wrapper, a green Shrek ball, a cardboard wrapper from a Snap-On Circuit Tester, a note for the bus driver from 4th-grader Jacob’s mom saying he was walking home — that ’s a plus for walking, Jacob, and a minus for littering the note. Also, three plastic bags of frozen poop. Talk about people who don’t get it; bagging a pet’s offerings only to litter them is sublimely dopey. Are they gift-wrapping for the next generation? Is this a time capsule? Do they think bagged poop is likely to appear on a list for an upcoming scavenger hunt? Who are they leaving these for? The poop elves? Hey, the coming of spring is supposed to be about the crocus, not the poop bag. Shape up.

A stroll out Route 20 to the dentists’ office revealed about 50 empty bottles and cans (anyone wanting to adopt a highway, here’s an urchin), one empty bottle of Benedictine Brandy (!), a dozen or so cigarette packs, several Skoal tins, and a dead deer. However, just a few steps from the road, since I seem to be running a Lost & Found this week, was this teddy bear. Somewhere, someone is missing this. If you know who it belongs to, please let me know.

On Genesee Street, one unused sticker warning of shock, burn, death. Also, a few blocks to the east, two LifeStyles Ultra Sensitive Premium Latex Condoms still in their foil wrap (and marked “Product of India”). Could they be from the packaging I found yesterday on State Street? Clearly, if they can travel all the way from India, they can make another four or five blocks in Skaneateles.

On the way to work: One purple rubber band from a bunch of Fornia Asparagus; two crushed Red Bull cans; one length of pipe, red, about 12 inches; one tin of Skoal Long Cut, Cherry (would one pinch constitute a fruit serving?); a Score baseball card from 1990 for Braves shortstop Andres Thomas who made big contributions the year before with his bat and glove; and at the corner of East Austin and State Streets, a crumpled “Convenience Valet” pack that once held 3 Ultra Lubricated Lifestyles condoms — “Proven Protection That Feels Really Good!”

In the middle of Jordan Street, one torn wrapper from a Kraft Post To Go Grape Nuts Trail Mix Crunch Cereal Bar (by the time you’ve read the whole name, you’re faint from hunger); on Genesee Street, one receipt that tells us all about a day in February (the 19th) when Diane at Linens ‘N Things in the Nassau Park Shopping Center in Princeton, New Jersey, rang up a sale for VISA Card holder *8194 who saved $20 on two items in Saddle Black, normally $39.99 each but today just $29.99. Another smart Princetonian.

In the pre-dawn darkness of Austin Park, on a crumpled piece of paper, written in a child’s hand:

look for a grey lid (under a cap)… That is my life preserver

look for a grey lid (under a cap)…  That is my life preserver

under rock and key     church     boat launch

look behind the tribute garden… you may have to reach in to find this one 

On the way home, a crumpled Camel Filters pack, a Vitamin Water bottle, a coupon for Maxwell House Coffee, and a new low in litter: a plastic Diet Pepsi bottle, Wild Cherry flavor, that had served as a cuspidor for some user of smokeless tobacco.

On the walk to work: empty cans and bottles from Pepsi (2), Mountain Dew, Coors Light, Bud Light, Capri Sun, Monster Energy, Poland Springs, and several clear plastic bottles without labels; a red plastic straw; a Bic pen; a blue & yellow child’s mitten; a child’s pink sock; a Syracuse University parking stub; a Parliament cigarette box, crushed. And on East Street, an item I did not pick up: at the end of a 10-foot trail of blood, one dead possum, hit and burst by a passing motor vehicle, a technology the victim could neither anticipate nor avoid.